"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free"

I'll admit it; I am obsessed with the helping. I have this deep seated need to help improve the lives of those I love. I want to take away their stress. I want to take away their worry. I want to share what I've learned from my mistakes in order to keep my family members from repeating them ad infinitum.

In response to my continuous offers to help, a certain member of my family DOES come to me. A Lot. With her hand out. There never ever fails to be a crisis in her financial life. The car is getting ready to be repossessed. The mortgage is 2 months behind. The car was just repossessed and she needs $2000 to get it back. The electric is going to be shut off. Someone that she hasn't seen in 10 years died yesterday and she needs gas money to make the 600 mile drive to the funeral. Notification of the emergency is always followed up with "Do you have $200, $400, $1500 that I can borrow until...?"

These emergencies are a weekly occurrence, at minimum. It is exhausting to constantly say "No, I can't loan you the money." No matter how many times I remind her that we are working toward getting out of debt and Wes is trying to get a business off the ground, she still tries to cash in at the bank of Wes and Momma.

Yesterday, I tried a different tack. I offered her free Household Finance Coaching. She has seen and heard about the differences our budgeting and moves toward frugality have made in our family's life. She just hasn't managed to make it out of her victim mindset. She still thinks and speaks in the language of the perpetually poor.

I offered to help her create a budget. She said "Go ahead and do it then." When I said that I'd need to come over and go over her bank accounts and bills with her to get a realistic budget together, she said "Eh, that's too much BS to deal with. There isn't any money to budget. Every penny we have goes to getting out from under the past due bills and bounced check fees."

I offered to help her lower her grocery costs. She said "I don't have any money to go to the grocery store." I have to admit that I was scratching my head over this one. They eat at Burger King 4 times a week because they "can't keep food in the house". (This was stated while she smoked her cigarette with one hand and held her 3rd 20 oz. Diet Pepsi of the day with the other.)

I offered her FREE grocery coupons. Sensing defeat, I changed the topic and went to the other side of the room to start clipping my coupons for this evening's grocery shopping trip. There is a sale at Kroger on an item that I know she uses, and with a coupon that I have 4 copies of, she'd get 4 of that item for free. I clipped the coupons out and said, "Here, you can get 4 of these for free at Kroger. Don't you guys use them?" She replied "Yes, but I don't shop at Kroger. You can go get them for me and bring them by." Um yeah.. I don't think so.

I offered several ideas to lower energy costs. She spent a good bit of time, while I was clipping coupons, lamenting over her lack of money and the conversation turned to utilities. Now, at this point, I was just letting her lead the conversation because I really don't want to keep offering suggestions for her to shoot down with excuses. But if we never talk about her money problems, she can't ask me for any. So she perseveres. I said "Well, we ended up shaving a considerable amount off our monthly electric bill by just installing a programmable thermostat and setting the temperatures to 78 during the summer and 68 during the winter." She looked horrified and replied "That's just crazy. Our air conditioning is on 24/7. I won't tolerate having it set any higher than 60 degrees."

Today, when I get off work, she and I are going shopping. Last week, she found a $100 JC Penney gift card in her purse that she didn't realize she had. Upon realizing she had the gift card, she declared that she NEEDS new shirts. The walk in closet full that she currently has is not enough. Since she doesn't drive "in town", I got the call to go with her for some Bonding Time.

I do wonder if I'm a glutton for punishment. Honestly though, I'm taking notes. I'm making sure that all of these conversations go into the research for my Coaching business, and my upcoming book. OH.. and I'm ordering her the book Make Money, Not Excuses (Paid Twice has been reviewing this book here). Not that she'll read it. But...

10 Ways To Reduce Spending Painlessly

Where Can You Reduce Spending Without Pain? This is the first question that many people ask when they realize they need to get their financial acts together. Just like with dieting, when you drastically alter your lifestyle to reduce spending, the changes will not last. You'll get tired of having to sacrifice and go back to your previous handling of money.

Here are some of the more popular ways to reduce spending without impacting your daily life too much.

1. Get rid of the Sirius or XM Radio - Unless you are in an area where there is no radio reception or you're on the road a lot and make tons of use of it, get rid of the satellite radio. It's a slow drain on your finances.

2. Newspaper or Magazine subscriptions - Spending money every week or month for magazines and newspapers you don't read is a waste of your resources (and the environment's). You can read most of the local newspapers and magazines online. You can also read them at the local library, often with a much larger selection of reading materials. * Exception - Sunday paper for the coupons :)

3. Cable Package - Remove services you don't use. Figure out how many hours a month you're watching the television and divide that by the amount you're paying for cable per month. Is this really worth it?

4. Cook Once Eat Twice - Double your recipe once a week to freeze for a quick meal later in the week. This will make it easier to resist the urge to eat out when you're tired or rushed.

5. iTunes – Set a budget for music, just like everything else. iTunes can rack up tons of charges without you even realizing it. Don't mindlessly pay for downloads on impulse.

6. Movies – Movies are getting more expensive every day. Heading out to a movie occasionally may not break the bank, but if you're a regular movie buff, you may want to try these alternatives:

1. Check them out at the library

2. Wait for 2^nd run at the dollar theater

3. Get a Netflix account instead of buying DVDs

   1. On the other hand, if you have Netflix but never use the service (don’t return the movies to get new ones or don’t watch them in a timely manner), cancel it and check out the DVDs for free at the library.

4. Watch free movies On Demand from your cable company.

   1. They also have paid movie rentals too, which isn't as good as free, but is cheaper than driving out to rent one or doing to the movies theater.

7. Books - I am a book lover! We have a ton of books. Books on shelves, and in boxes, and probably a few tossed on the bedside tables. But, books are expensive, especially new ones. If you're an avid reader, try these frugal alternatives to buying new books.

   1. Check out the library

   2. Start a local book swap group with your friends

   3. Use Swaptree.com or Paperbackswap.com

   4. If you have to buy, go to used book stores, not new

8. Fast Food – Very few people really enjoy eating fast food instead of home cooked meals. Most of us eat it because it's fast and easy. Some ways to combat the need to stop for fast food:

1. Finger Food Night

   1. Chop up fresh fruit and veggies and combine them with dips.

   2. Make Ants on a Log (celery with peanut butter and raisins on top) your kids will love this!

   3. Make english muffin pizzas.

2. Breakfast for dinner – No meal is much easier than pancakes and eggs, or sausage, egg and cheese sandwiches. Breakfast for dinner is also fun for the kids.

3. Recipes for quick easy meals – Gather a few recipes for quick and easy meals for those days you're really not up for being experimental

   1. Publix has an entire series on 30 minute meals. Some of them are fabulous.

9. Cancel Unused Gym Memberships – You know the one. The gym membership you signed up for in January when you were on a resolution health kick. The one you only use once a month when the automatic draft comes out of your account and you remember that you really should get some use out of. That $40 a month membership full of good intentions is draining your wallet of $300 a year! Dump it and go for a walk.

10. Switch to fee free bank accounts – The $7 for that Bank of America account, and $12 for that money market account are not doing you any favors. Try these free bank acounts to lighten the dings you take to the wallet every month:

    1. Ingdirect.com

    2. Wamu Free Checking

    3. Wachovia

    4. There are dozens, do your own research and find the fee free accounts that are best for you. Worst case, you can put an end to those fees. Best case, you get an account that earns you interest on the money you have there.

What about you? What are some of the ways you can think of to reduce your spending painlessly?

My Project

I've decided to get off the fence and go with my passion. I love helping people improve their household finances. Over the last several years, I've read a million and one finance articles. I started reading Yahoo! Finance, then MSN Money, MSNBC Business, CNN Money, and a ton of books. I've taken online accounting courses through a local university, and even pondered going back to school to get my degree in Finance.

From the point of reading that first Yahoo! Finance article, I became obsessed with getting our family's finances on the right track and maximizing our spending. Mostly, I focused on retirement research. After I opened my 401k with my employer and maxed out my contribution, I breathed a sigh of relief and went on about my business. My projections show that with a standard rate of return, if I work until I'm 65, we'll have enough in the retirement account to live on $120,000 a year for the rest of our lives and still leave money for the kids.

I realize that retirement is far more complicated than that, but knowing that I have at least a loose plan, I felt free to make changes in other areas of our lives. I created a budget for our family in excel. It's a complicated spreadsheet and covers lots of variables for 5 years. It also has a section that tracks debt reduction, and feeds right into the rest of the calculations. This spreadsheet has been shared with quite a few friends and relatives over the last year and it's been wildly successful!

I've tweaked and adjusted and learned more and implemented tips and tricks from other bloggers and sources until I have our finances rolling like a well oiled machine. And everything I need to manage our household finances on a monthly basis is contained in one 3 ring binder. Not too long ago, Wes was watching me process the weekly grocery list and manage our household finance tasks and had an epiphany.

I think everyone is aware that the economy is going down the tubes. For most of the people in our lives, this means radical changes in their household finances... but they don't know where to start. I'm going to help give people that start.

My new career path is Household Finance Coaching. I'm writing a book to go along with the organizational binder. I already have the binder in Beta form. I'm working with several test households to get real numbers in line. I'm building a new website, and am going to give this a whirl. I really am looking forward to making a difference.

:) And when the book is finished, I'm going to give away a free copy here.

Earth Day Post

Today is Earth Day! Although, to be honest, we've been slowly working toward making every day a more Earth friendly day at Momma's house. It's very interesting to me that most of the environmentally friendly changes that we can make in our lives are also very budget friendly.

Utilities:

• Last year, we started replacing our light bulbs with Compact Fluorescent Lighting as the regular bulbs burned out.
• We desperately needed a new washing machine last fall, so we replaced it with a more efficient front-end loader. This probably didn't lower the energy usage for the washer, but definitely lowered the energy usage for the dryer, as the clothes had much less water in them after the spin cycle.
• Wes replaced our old thermostat with a new programmable one. This has made a large difference in both gas and electricity bills.
• Recently, I started washing all loads on cold wash/cold rinse cycles.
• I also hang up all socks, underwear, wash clothes, dish clothes, and hand towels, so there are less things going into the dryer.
• I unplug the coffee pot, bean grinder, and toaster every time I go into the kitchen. (Note to self: Probably ought to tell the family, so they don't keep plugging them back in.)
• You may find some great information on this over at Get Rich Slowly. JD is asking the readers for Tips on Energy Conservation

Waste

• We've started composting all of the vegetation we can (cut flowers that have died, table scraps without meat, grass clippings, etc).
• I started a recycling box for paper goods, but plan to research other recyclables for this area and find out how to keep from sending out an overflowing container full of trash to the curb every week. Lynnae at Being Frugal wrote a great post about Recycling and what is recyclable in her area. I learned some stuff from it!
• The children and I have been gathering clothing and items we don't or can't use to donate to a local abuse shelter.

Food

• I'm growing a small garden of herbs and vegetables, to cut down on our food bills and provide more organic food options to my family.

Gas

• I combine trips where I can, and buy gas at night, after I complete my shopping.
• I don't generally drive anywhere besides work and home more than twice a week and even then it's not more than 5 miles from the house.
• Although carpooling isn't an option for me, Spilling Buckets is carpooling now, and figures that he is saving about $2100 annually in the process.
• YL15 (in 4 days!) rides her bicycle the 3 miles to school and back every day so that Wes and I don't have to go and pick her up. Bus riding isn't an option for her in the afternoons.

Link Love!

• For some other fabulous posts about Green Living on a budget, check out these blogs!
• Wealth Junkies posts about Going Green in the Wallet
• Frugal Mom LA is Getting on the Green Bandwagon
• My Two Dollars had some other great links in honor of Earth Day too.
• Notes from the Frugal Trenches says Going Green Helps You Be Frugal!

Are you a pump watcher?

It's on the news, in the papers, and the topic of discussion around the water cooler at work. Are you watching the gas prices climb too? There is wild speculation on how high the prices will climb and how long they'll stay there. Some folks are flocking to GasBuddy to find out where the cheapest gas is in their area. Mapquest is even getting in on the action.

People where I work are talking about things they are having to cut corners on just to be able to make it back and forth to work. Does Dish Network cost less than Direct TV? How many of our cell phone services can we cut? Are we going to be able to go to Myrtle Beach this summer, like always?

I've been sending out referrals to the Grocery Game to everyone who mentions cutting costs. (If you head over there and decide to sign up, Momma would be very grateful if you'd use her email address for the referral: sunshinedavidson@gmail.com) I've also been shamelessly promoting the links to my favorite personal finance blogs and sharing tips from them whenever appropriate.

I know it seems a little odd, but I am doing my best not to pay attention to the gas prices at all. I have decided that it's just not worth the stress. I've been cutting our costs as I can, and have started my own Square Foot Gardens. I shop at Kroger every week, so I always have the $.10 off per gallon at their gas pumps.

Gas prices are going to go up, no matter how much I worry about it. I just remind myself that 25% of my 401k is invested in Natural Resources and try to hang on for the bumpy ride. What about you? Do you have tips for easing the pinch at the pump?

Stunned

OH WOW. This is going to be a short post but I definitely wanted to share. I followed a link posted last week by Cash Money Life. It was one of those nifty Get $25 Just For Signing Up links. (See the one below! Even better, click on it!) I'm always skeptical when it comes to these things. But, I gave it a whirl. After all, I haven't been steered wrong by my fellow bloggers yet.

I signed up, and immediately got credited $25 to my account. Poof, just that easy. I sent out a referral link and got $10 for the referral. Poof, just that easy.

The best part about Revolution Money Exchange is that they don't charge fees to send or receive money. I've always been hesitant to accept money on PayPal because of the percentage they charge to receive payments on a business account. So far, RME has done exactly what they've said they will. It's user friendly. I think I'm going to like it there.

Going Green - And Frugal

I have a friend who is shunning manufactured cleaning products, in an effort to "Go Green" and have a more chemical free home for her family. I've asked her to write a guest post on this topic here, but hoped that you kind folks may have a tip or two to help get us started.

What are your tried and true methods for going green and staying frugal?

Part 2 - Living frugally, yet well

This is the 2nd post in response to the question: “Can you explain how to save money while still raising a family and trying to keep up with what society seems to think a family needs to have?”

On Friday, I talked about Keeping up with the Joneses (AKA Society) and keeping Clothing purchases from breaking the bank.

To continue that theme, I want to talk a little bit about what Living Well is, to me. I suppose that "Living Well" is as subjective as you can get. It can vary drastically, even within households where everyone really has the same core values. I know that it varies for Wes and I frequently.

To me, Living Well means that I don't have to carry a lot of money stress around with me. It means that my children are happy, provided for, and healthy. It means that our basic necessities are met, with a little extra. Are we there yet? Mostly.

The path to really living well started with a budget. And then, some discipline. There are NO easy answers or quick fixes to getting your finances in order. But, there are definitely some quick wins. For me, the first quick win was understanding that "It's only $10" is a crappy response to buying something you don't need.

Use a free tracking service to load all of your bank accounts, credit cards, and/or gas cards. Mint is fabulous for this! Once you get all of your transactions loaded, review the categories. Make sure they're accurate, and take a good hard look at where you spend your money. Do you spend too much money on video games? Is dining out your weakness? Do you just HAVE to buy expensive crafting materials or the latest magazines to hit the news stands?

The first time I downloaded all of our bank account transactions into Microsoft Money, it was to prepare our taxes. When I categorized our expenditures for the previous year, I found out that we spent FOURTEEN THOUSAND dollars on eating out. That's more than our mortgage!

If you're married, go over the results with your spouse**. Discuss ways to compromise and make changes to your spending. Figure out how to work together to get your financial house in order. Unless everyone is on the same page, there will be sabotage. Sometimes, it'll even be you!
** This discussion should only happen when you're both prepared for it. Don't ambush your partner. No good can come from that.

Once you've determined your spending patterns, work on your budget. Get all of your fixed and mandatory expenses in there first. House payments, rent, and utilities should be at the top of the list. Next, your fluctuating expenses. While you're working out your budget, discuss where you can make cuts without having a negative impact on your household. This can be as simple as teaching the children to turn the lights off every single time they leave a room, to setting a timer for showers, or eating more vegetarian meals to cut meat costs.

Can't go without cable or high speed Internet? Bundle your telephone/cable/Internet packages for big savings on those utilities. Grocery shop with coupons, and use The Grocery Game (my favorite) or Coupon Mom, or another coupon and sales tracking program.

Can't go without eating out? Use the referral link from the Coupon Mom website to go to Restaurants.com. You can get a $25 gift certificate to your favorite restaurant for $10 through Restaurants.com .. and with the referral link from Coupon Mom, you get an extra 40% off. That's a $25 gift card for $6! You can buy more than one, if you choose. Watch out for the restrictions though.

Love books and magazines too much to give up? Go to your public library. They have most of the periodicals you could ever want. There is an endless supply of books. Have kids? GREAT! Go during story time and meet other parents and kids in your neighborhood.

While you're at it, start your own home play groups or a babysitting co-op, so nobody has to pay for sitters. If you aren't that ambitious, look for co-ops that are already in place. Time Banking is taking hold all over the country.

Don't dig the library for your reading fix? Try book swapping or Half.com. Two of the more popular book swap rings are Paperback Swap and Swaptree.

Do you need a shelf or table? What about canning jars? Do you have a bunch of baby clothes taking up space? Extra furniture stashed in the attic that will never see the light of day again? Use Freecycle! There is one in practically every neighborhood. You can find a home for just about everything you have no use for. If you're willing to put a little effort into it, you can also find just about anything you need there too. Can't find what you need on Freecycle? How about Craig's List?

These are just a few of the ways I've found to cut our costs in ways that don't hurt our lifestyle. They do require a little more effort than going out and plopping down your debit card or credit card, but they are worth it to my peace of mind. We're still Living Well. We're just doing it more consciously than we were before. The rewards are growing.

Part 1 - The Joneses and Clothing

Get a cup of coffee and something to nibble, pull up a chair and get comfy. My friend asked for the impossible and I do love a challenge. I recently posted a request for article ideas on my Journal. The first suggestion was “Can you explain how to save money while still raising a family and trying to keep up with what society seems to think a family needs to have?” Well, sure! Why didn’t I think of that? After all, I am trying to save money and raise a family too.

First of all, just who is Society and why should we be keeping up with them? If, by Society, you mean the people who would have you believe you need the latest item to hit the shelves and receive a full media onslaught of advertising, the easy answer is you DON’T need to keep up with them.
-- My children don’t need the latest marshmallow/sugarfest box of cereal to hit the shelves. – Oatmeal and whole wheat versions of no-name cereals work just fine.
-- My husband doesn’t need the newest version of the Blackberry or iPhone. – The phone he has still works, receives his emails, allows him to text and make calls and performs all the functions he needs to for work.
-- I don’t need that new workout suit because I go to the gym now. – My sweats and t-shirts may not be glamorous, but they do the job.

We don’t need to succumb to the peer pressure of keeping up appearances. Paid Twice wrote an article that really resonated with me. In it, she explains that “There is no shame in not being able to afford it.” This article blew me away! How do we let people shame us into feeling like our self-worth is tied to our stuff? As My Two Dollars so succinctly put it, “You are not your stuff.” Do THEY really shame us, or do we do it to ourselves? Do THEY really care?

That said, living well on less money is still possible. Just because you don’t want to “Keep up With the Joneses” doesn’t mean that you can’t live a comfortable life.

Clothing:
It's possible to dress nicely and in name brand clothes for extremely reasonable prices by just changing the way you look at your shopping. There are three ways to do this, in my opinion.

-- If you absolutely must have new clothes, the First Tier, and often most expensive, option is to shop at discount stores. There are great clothes for exceptional prices at Ross, Marshall's, or Burlington Coat Factory's clearance racks. I've shopped at all of them with mixed success.

-- The Second Tier option is to try consignment shops. Plato's Closet has locations in 37 states and is widely known for name brand clothing for a fraction of the price. Many of their clothes still have the tags on them and have never been worn. Another great consignment chain, for children, is Children's Orchard, and they have locations in 22 states.

-- If the Internet is more of your shopping preference, the Third Tier is your option! You can often find fabulous deals at Ebay, Gently Used, or Penelopepup's Vintage Clothing, to name a few. For even cheaper options, you can get clothes, in current styles, for next to nothing at Swango's awesome clothing swap!

I'm an advocate for Tier Two and Tier Three options for clothing, because ReUse is far more effective than Recycle. Keeping things out of landfills should be part of anyone's frugal living plan.

In the next post, I'll be focusing on other areas of (more) frugal living while raising a healthy family. Hang tight, I've got more babbling to do!
Momma

Articles By Request

I posted a request for topic ideas on my other blog. So far, I'm up to three really great topics. I plan to use all the resources at my disposal to write articles on the following topics:

1. Can you explain how to save money while still raising a family and trying to keep up with what society seems to think a family needs to have? (I think this is one series all on its own.)
2. Home Equity Loans. There's two types, the one thatt refinances your entire house with the loan amount included in it, and the one where you take out a loan but you only draw agaisnt it as you need it, and you only have to make payments against the balance you have out. Which is better if you're trying to remodel your home?
3. There seem to be several different ideas about "how" to get out of debt. What are your thoughts on each one, and your opinion of which is best?

There's nothing like a challenge! :) Looking forward to writing on these topics.

What about you? Do you have opinions on any of these topics? I'd love to share them!

Weekend at Disney

Wes and I are sometimes super smart people. Other times... not so much. 3 of our children (the youngest 3) have birthdays in a two week span in January. They turned 10, 10, and 12 this month. This year, we took them to Disney World for the weekend. Taking 4 children to Disney World is not the cheapest way to celebrate birthdays. Nor is driving 8 hours one way to spend one day at The Magic Kingdom the smartest way to expend energy. But we did... and are oh so glad that we did.

To take the sting out of the normal travel expenses, such as snacks and fountain drinks and the ever present McDonald's drive-thru, I did a little pre-planning. I packed a cooler full of non caffeinated drinks for the children, and diet cokes for Wes and I. I picked up a huge container of peanut butter filled pretzel nuggets and portioned them out into snack baggies. I even made Nutella & Jelly and PB&J sandwiches. This definitely saved us at least $70 for the weekend in snacks.
*Quick note: When you make several different kinds of sandwiches and want to make sure you can tell them apart quickly, cut them in different ways. I did PB&J diagonally, and Nutella & Jelly down the middle.*

We stayed at one of the Disney properties, in the cheapest rooms they had. We know that the rooms aren't well appointed and the beds are like boards, so I made sure to pack our memory foam mattress pad. This works incredibly well and makes the beds in even the most economical hotel chains comfy to sleep in.

We made sure to get the Meal Plan when we made the reservation. It was so nice not to have to worry about how much extra money we were going to have to shell out for food while we were there. With the meal plan, we were able to enjoy a fantastic character breakfast, lunch in one of the park restaurants, dinner in a nicer Downtown Disney restaurant, and breakast at the hotel before heading home. The greatest part was that there was no big surprise bill at checkout.

Now, granted, Disney vacations (even for one day at the park) are not cheap. But if you are careful and plan ahead, it's definitely possible to go and have a good time without breaking the bank.

The kids had a fantastic time! We were able to ride all but 8 rides in the entire Magic Kingdom park in one day and didn't wait much longer than 10 minutes in any line all day (which Wes says is unheard of). The weather was cool enough for us to be comfortable in sweaters. The characters are amazing! The customer service is fantastic. OH.. and Cinderella's Castle lights up at night.. and changes colors. *happy sigh* January is obviously a good time to see The Mouse.