Two Homes, Two Financial Relationships, One Child

Wes and I were blessed with three children each, before we found our way to one another. In his past life, he was what The Millionaire Next Door terms a High Income, Low Net Worth UAW (Under Accumulator of Wealth). He was married to a woman who shared his (then) money values. He earned a lot, they spent a lot.

Over the last couple of years, our family has been making slow but steady progress toward becoming more frugal. However, his ex-wife's household hasn't undergone those same changes. YM10 lives with Wes' former wife and only gets to see us on his bi-weekly visitations. So, he hasn't been engaged in our family conversations (that occur on an almost daily basis) about how we're being more responsible with our money. He only gets to participate in this every-other-weekend. Having two parents, in two different households, with two different sets of values when it comes to money, YM10 has a few problems when it comes to realistic spending expectations.

Admittedly, the expectations he has have been reinforced over time by both parents. In the beginning, very little thought was put into the cost and we often spent $500 to $1000 on visitation weekends without realizing it. Spending a family day going to Dave and Buster's ($200) before going out to a sit down dinner ($120) before going to the drive in movie ($50) was fairly common for us. As a result, YM10 has an almost constant case of the "spends" when he is with us.

We still do fun family things, like buy Six Flags season passes and take the family to Renaissance festivals. But, instead of spending money like water when we get there, we tend to pack a cooler full of drinks, or bring the refillable bottles, to keep from spending $2.50 per can of soda. We also pack lunches or purchase family meal plans for a reasonable fee. We take our grill and lawn chairs to the drive-in theater for a frugal but fun night out. All of the children still get family time and they still get to do fun things, we just plan our spending now.

But, while the 3 children who live in our household have made gradual changes with Wes and me, YM10 hasn't had that opportunity. When at the Renaissance Festival, he didn't understand why Wes wasn't spending $50 on swords like he used to, or why we didn't just hand each child $40 to spend on whatever they wanted. He is upset when Wes tells him that they are not going waste money going to the batting cages, but suggests they play ball in the front yard together instead. He doesn't understand why Wes is no longer keeping up with the tradition of buying a toy for him every time they're together.

He often uses phrases like "My mom said you have enough money to do X, Y, or Z, so why can't I have W?" Teaching good spending habits to a child whose daily living environment is about spending and keeping up with a lifestyle, rather than spending time connecting as a family in ways that don't cost anything, is very difficult. Right now, our goal isn't as lofty as teaching him good financial sense. Right now, we just want him to realize that we're not being careful with money because we're poor, but because we are no longer a family that is wasteful of our resources.

How do you do this? How do you teach a ten year old little boy who has everything he has ever asked for that when he goes to Daddy's house, not getting what he wants all the time doesn't mean that Daddy is poor or just being stingy?

No Spend Weekend Ideas

Around our house, the weekends are spent doing family things. Sometimes expensive family things. Over the last several months, we've been learning that we can have more fun and lots of time to connect as a family without spending a bundle. Here are some of our favorite frugal things to do on the weekends.

1) Square Foot Gardening! - Frugal Dad did a post a while back on How To Build a Square Foot Garden, and then Lynnae over at Being Frugal wrote about building her own. Over the last several years, I've made multiple attempts at growing tomatoes and peppers and herbs in my yard, with no success. This year with the square foot gardens we built, the children and I are really having a fabulous time playing in the dirt on the weekends.

2) Bookfest - We have been spending more and more time on the front porch, in our new "Library" reading books and sipping our coffee or soda and chatting away. I think this is an incredibly relaxing way to reconnect with my family.

3) Backyard BBQ - Nothing says family time like grilling some burgers and hot dogs and having friends over to sing karaoke or watch movies. You don't have to go out and spend a lot of money to hang out with your friends. Host a pot luck!

4) Riding on the trail - A favorite passtime of my family is to load up all of the bicycles and go down to the bike trail. On a good day, they get 12 to 15 miles in. I don't ride bicycles, so it's a fabulous time for Wes and the children to have some quality time, and for me to catch up on things I've been neglecting.

5) Movies Under The Stars - I know that in Atlanta, as soon as the summer months hit, the local radio stations start hosting free movies in parks around the area. Families come and bring their blankets and coolers and watch G Rated movies in the grass with their children. It's a really great way to get to know other people with families that you wouldn't otherwise get to meet.

6) Art Projects - All of those art projects you keep meaning to do but don't have the time for can replace some of the paid activities you've been doing. Instead of roller skating or going to the movies or heading to Six Flags, pull out the sewing machine and make those adorable little pillows (or whatever) from the patterns you've been gathering. We're going to give another whirl at quilting for the homeless this year. My friend Scarlett is having a whole Summer of Art!

7) Take a walk - I know this sounds really corny, but if you're like most people, there are tons of unexplored places in your neighborhood. Take a walk with the family. Leash the dogs and give them some fun exercise time too. Walk slowly and maybe meet your neighbors that you've never had a chance to say hello to because you're too busy.

8) Institute a Family Game Night - If you don't have any, board games are cheap, especially at the thrift store. Let the kids pick the games. Make some popcorn and drinks. Gather around the dining room table and let the fun begin. I'll bet you that your kids will love it!

9) Go to the park - This has a ton of benefits for no cost. The children get to run off all of their excess energy. You can either relax and talk with other parents, or often times there is a walking track that you can use while the kiddos play with their friends. You can't go wrong with fresh air and exercise.

Hmmmmm... Must go research new ones, I think. Any ideas?

Mother's Day Edition

This has been such a lovely day! Woke up and put on my Brand New Pajamas! (there you have it, folks, my true vice. Pajamas.) I was presented with a lovely breakfast in bed. Wes and YL10 made homemade coffee cake. YL12 and YL15 made scrambled eggs and sausages. I had the most lovely hazelnut coffee, and they even brought me two of the most gorgeous huge roses ever (er... the only two growing on Momma's rose bushes out front) in a glass of water to decorate the breakfast tray.

I've been pampered and waited on all day. As I write this, I'm on the porch with a cup of coffee, my feet are propped up, my laptop is on my lap, the birds are singing and there are squirrels in the trees playing, and my DH is at Costco picking up milk, eggs, and office supplies.

When it's quiet like this, I love to .... make lists... and organize... and ...

So far today, I've sorted 1200 emails, started on Step One of Your Money or Your Life, and put a plan in motion for the whole week. This should be a banner week! More on this later... I've got a relaxion day to finish.

Weekend - The Ramble

This has been an interesting weekend. YL15 finally turned 15 on Saturday. We had an Anime Sleepover Party for her. Half a dozenish of her friends showed up, some with their Anime DVDs, bearing gifts and hugs and sleeping bags. There was sushi, Yu Gi Oh matches, Anime movies, pillow fights, lots of Rock Band, and giggles until 2 AM when I finally sent them all off to bed.

I'm actually more than a little surprised that we managed to pull off the birthday party on less than $100. YL15 chose everything for the party. She did not want decorations at all. The cake and sushi were from Costco. We picked up tons of fresh vegetables, some lipton vegetable soup mix, and some ranch dressing mix to make a veggie tray with homemade ranch dip and spinach dip for the dinner buffet. We also picked up the fruit for a fruit salad for breakfast (uh... $11.50 for 2/3 of a bowl of fruit salad at Kroger? ... no way). Since when do teenagers want veggie trays and fruit salad? But, hey... I'll take it!

The gas bill came over the weekend. I did a Happy Dance that it was under $100 (we have $150 budgeted), paid the bill and sent a snowflake to the IRS for the difference. I did a little research, and although the bill was less than expected, I'm alarmed at how quickly the natural gas prices are going up. The price went up by $0.45 per BTU in the last year. That's up by 34% in one year. Thank goodness we've been doing our part to reduce usage.

The best part of the weekend for me was Sunday. We spent most of the day, sitting on the front porch sipping coffee (and later in the day just water or soda), listening to the rain, reading the Sunday paper and chatting. I'm not so much the "just sit and relax" type of person, but I thoroughly enjoyed my day. I finished my book and listened to Wes talk politics with my sister. We all smiled and shared a moment that only adults can share when we heard the pillow fight and giggling fits break out in the living room full of teenaged girls. All Sundays should be so perfect.

Summer Break - Those Pesky Kids

Summer break is 5 weeks away for the children at Momma's house. Usually, my 3 bio daughters spend the summer with their father in a different state. They generally leave here the day after school lets out for the summer and don't return until a week or so prior to the beginning of school in August.

This year, their father has gotten caught in the economic downturn. He hasn't got a job and his living situation is precarious. Therefore, the young ladies will be staying home with us this summer. They're incredibly excited. This is the first time in 8 years that they've spent a summer with me. Of course, that doesn't change the fact that I have to work.

They're all old enough that they don't need a babysitter, but I think it's a miserable summer if they have to spend every day hanging out and waiting for us to come home from work. In the past summers, we've gotten them Six Flags season passes. It's a great investment for us because we always go more than twice a season (the break even point for season passes) and the Passholders Only day at the end of the season means that we get lots of Christmas gifts for next to nothing, as everything in the park is at least 50% off.

This year is different though. Wes' work situation isn't as secure as it has been in years past. I'm torn between being frugal and making better decisions with our money, and making sure our kids don't have a summer of boredom and exile. The 15 year old (in 10 days!) wants to get a job at Six Flags, so maybe it's not such a bad idea! But everyone knows that those amusement park passes are paid for with the extras... not the passes.

While I ponder this, I'll just share my snowflakes for today:
$11.30 (water bill was less than budgeted)
$4.49 (sold a book on half.com, this is the sales price after shipping and commission)
Yay for baby steps.

So, what do you think about the season passes? Good idea or no?

The Cost of Chores

When we moved into our house 3 1/2 years ago, we made a decision that the children (the 3 that live with us) would have equal parts in maintaining it. Wes and I both work outside the home, and try to cook dinner and spend family time as often as possible. In order to keep up with everything, we enlisted the girls’ aid with the cleaning.

We tried many methods for determining who did what chore. We drew chores, listed on scraps of paper, from a hat on a weekly basis. We rotated the chores out so that none of the children got stuck with chores they hated for long. In the end, we just gave the two biggest chores to the older two, and spread the rest of the workload evenly between them.

Our 12 year old daughter has been responsible for the laundry for over a year now. I have invested many … many hours in showing her how to use the right amount of detergent and fabric softener. I’ve encouraged her to break up the chore into manageable bits so that it doesn’t build up on her. Still, no matter how often I helped her get caught up on weekends, she seemed to be completely unable to keep up.

Last week, I made a new deal. I gave her an “out” from the chore she so obviously hates enough that no amount of encouragement, lost privileges, or punishment could force her to keep up with it. I allowed her to make me an offer of chores she would willingly take over in return for me taking over all laundry duties. She made me an offer that I felt was an equal amount of effort on her part, so I took it.

Today, I realized that this is going to save us a considerable amount of money in the long run. No more loads that need to be washed twice because they were forgotten in the washing machine to mildew for three days. No more loads that need to be washed and dried twice because the dryer was over loaded and the clothes didn’t get dry (and again, were left for 3 days). Less energy to dry because I hang up socks, underclothes, wash clothes, and hand towels instead of drying them in the dryer.

I really don’t know how long I’ll be able to cheerfully keep up with this dreaded chore, but I can already tell that our water, gas, and electricity bills will be going down... maybe even significantly. I won’t be adjusting the budget to account for the lower bills. Bring on the snowflakes!

**Electric Bill less than budget - $52.66 snowflake

Emotional Spending

On Saturday, I requested (threatened bodily harm unless I got) some alone time. My wonderful husband loaded up all four children, ages 10, 10, 12, and 15 IN 19 DAYS!!, and took them out for the afternoon. First, they tried bowling... no lanes open until 9:30 PM. So, they spent their allotted $10 in quarters at the video arcade and tried to figure out what to do with the rest of their night in exile.

I got a call from Wes just before they left the bowling alley. The new plan was dinner out at Taco Mac so he could watch the basketball game and hang out with the kids. :) This left me at least 2 hours to enjoy my alone time and do all the things I'd been putting off.

I cleaned my bedroom, washed laundry like a fiend, puttered and organized and straightened. I had the iTunes set to shuffle on Wes' computer and the music was cranked. Not exactly the way I THOUGHT I'd enjoy spending a Saturday night, but I'll take it.

Just as I was finishing my bedroom chores, I got a call from Wes. He and the children were on their way home and they had a surprise for me! :) I had a surprise for them too. Clean laundry and a clean bedroom. When they got home, three of the children grabbed me by the hand and took me to the kitchen, where I was presented with a spring bouquet of flowers and a bar of dark chocolate. I hugged the children and exclaimed that I have the best family ever!

Wes said "uh, you might want to rethink that in a minute." That's when I walked into the living room and saw the box... The flowers and chocolate were not a gift.. they were an apology! My family waited until I wasn't there to say no and bought Rock Band! I'm very proud of myself. I didn't rant, yell, or otherwise undermine Wes' purchase. I did, however, pour myself a very large glass of wine and retire to my (now spotless) bedroom to play video games.

My 12 year old daughter, came into the room and her eyes were filled with tears. She is the one who suggested the purchase and felt guilty that it had upset me. I recovered pretty quickly and asked her how much it cost. When she said it was $170 dollars, I just smiled and said "That's OK, it's the family entertainment budget for the next month. Now ... go play your game! Enjoy it and get all the use out of it you can because we're not going out to do other things for a while."

When she left, Wes came into the room. There was very little spoken. I understand what happened. He knew it was a purely emotional purchase. Sometimes, he just feels so badly for having to say no and be practical all the time that he makes large impulsive purchases. I feel that way sometimes myself, but I'm better about keeping a grip on it. I'm sure it's a pretty common phenomenon in people who are making the move to more frugal living. We just resolve to do better next time and move on.

On the upside, it's a FABULOUS game. The entire family gets to play at once. There is noise and laughter and real family time going on. They played until 1 AM. ;) Of course, nobody has beaten my score for vocals on Wanted, Dead or Alive! Momma ROCKS.

Discussions on Poverty

I just read an interview with Adam Shepard that JD over at Get Rich Slowly posted, this morning. The interview was interesting and gave me food for thought... but not as much as the comments. It seems to me that there are so many people who adamently refuse to believe that each person is responsible for their own rise above poverty.

I've seen all of the excuses. Not enough education. Not the right sex. Not the right background. And the ever popular "I'm a single mom!"

I was raised by a Single Mother. Raised in poverty. We did not own our own home, or even have a place to live many times growing up. My mother was a Welfare Mother. All of her income came in the form of welfare checks, food stamps, and we were all provided the best healthcare the state offered. During the course of my childhood, we lived in dozens of places across 3 states, in low income housing, on friends' sofas, with families in overcrowded houses, and a few times in shelters.

Our Christmas gifts, school clothes, and anything else of significant value was provided by Christian Social Services, Community Action, Goodwill, or any other of a hundred charity organizations. My mother did not work, except when it was mandated by state law that she work for the state for the number of hours equivalent to her welfare check paid at minimum wage. And, although she most certainly had enough money to spend every night at the local VFW, or bar, there was little leftover to raise her 4 children.

Now, this is not a pity party. I value the lessons I learned during my childhood. However, this is to demonstrate that I do know what I'm talking about when addressing the issues of poverty and the struggles faced by families ensconsed in it.

As many of the girls who grew up in this environment, I got pregnant at 16. I was a Momma at barely 17. However, I refused to hang the label "Single Mother" on myself. Yes, I was a mother. Yes, I was single. But, my child deserved better than the life I'd had. I went to school during the day, worked at Papa John's Pizza at night. I lived with my mom until 3 months before graduation when she decided to move to another state again. With no way to graduate high school if I moved with her, I packed my 10 month old daughter up and moved into the local homeless shelter.

From there, I began the cycle I did not want to begin. I signed up for welfare, food stamps, and medical care for my daughter. I still went to school and still worked my part time job. I did manage to graduate on time (although, with a D in a couple of classes). I found a tiny 8'X35' trailer for rent, with all utilities included for the exact amount of the welfare allotment. The school guidance counselor brought me a gift box with standard household items to help me get started.

I got financial aid and went to the local college. I met a guy. I got pregnant again at 19 and married 2 months later. I dropped out of school and we moved. Then we moved again. Then we moved again. To make a long story short, after moving more than half a dozen times in just 5 years, I wound up living on my mother's sofa in Georgia, with 3 children, 13 college credit hours and a 0.7 grade point average, two broken legs in braces, an INCREDIBLY spotty work history, and no husband.

I bought a big bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol, and got a job as a 3rd shift waitress. For the entire time I worked there, I was in such pain that I could barely walk. But, I worked anyway. I did not want to be a Welfare Mom and I did not want to ever utter the words "But I'm a single mom".

My world completely fell apart the day that my (then) 7 year old daughter fell on a piece of playground equipment and broke her arm. As a waitress, I had no medical insurance. I had to quit my job to qualify for public assistance. This was the only way that I could afford medical treatment for her arm.

The Public Assistance program in my community is very strict. You're required to attend workshops on resume building, interviewing skills, and get the documentation signed before you qualify for assistance. They also have programs in place with some local department stores to provide interview and work clothes.

I grabbed onto every opportunity they provided me with both hands. Within 10 days of my application, before I ever received one welfare check, I had a job. A job working DAYS.. at a desk job... 40 hours a week.. and for the most money I'd ever made, $10 an hour!

From that point, I never looked back. I have utilized every free educational opportunity that the jobs I've held have offered. Every training session, industry online training course, or even co-workers trying to teach me other job functions, I grabbed onto and used to my advantage. Within a year, I was working for a different company, making more money, learning as much as I could, and making sure that I was in the front of the minds of management when they thought of intelligent, hard workers.

The greatest thing is that my daughters all saw this. They all know where we started. They all know how much our lives have changed and improved. They all know that it was just the 4 of us together for a long time. Not only have I given them better lives than I had, through my own perserverence and hard work, but I've given them a foundation for success... proof that even "single moms" with "no education" and "the wrong background" can improve their situations dramatically and break the cycle of poverty.

Investing In....

There are some fantastic resources on the internet and at the public library who can point you in the right direction for just about any type of investing. You can research and buy stocks, bonds, CDs, property, and the list gos on... I will willingly admit that I don't pay much attention to the investing resources yet, as I am still very deep in debt and this has to be my first priority.

This morning, I had an epiphany. I am already investing. I'm investing in me. I'm investing in my marriage. I'm investing in my family.

Right now though, my main focus is on investing in my career. Receiving calls about a job making more than double my salary has made me re-evaluate some things. If I am qualified for this job, and it's a market that has a lot of openings, I'd be kind of silly not to exploit that.

I've started taking online tutorials and education modules to increase my knowledge and marketability. It's not costing me anything but time. The tutorials are all free and there for the taking. The more I expand my skills in this area by doing the practice drills, taking the skills assessments, and developing generic items to add to my portfolio, the more I am investing in me... and therefore my family and my marriage.

How does this correspond to my family and marriage? Simple! For every dollar I increase my income, the amount of time to pay off our debt decreases. For every decrease in our debt, the less stress and strain on Wes and I, and the less we have to put off things we want for the children. In short, this investment has the potential to free my family from the monetary constraints that have limited Wes and my ability to provide in the ways we WANT to for everyone.

I feel good about my current investment portfolio :) It's not large... but it WILL BE!

Experiment #1- Yesterday's Spending
I Spent: $18.22 for hair color and PTA supplies

The Ordinary Family ... or Not

As I've said before, our family is very complicated. Wes has 3 children from 2 previous marriages. I have 3 children from a previous marriage. We're what is becoming the new normal family. The Brady Bunch of the new millenium, if you will. Our family stretches out like this:
YL (Young Lady) 18: In college near Nashville, TN
YL 17: Lives with her mom ner Memphis, TN and goes to high school
YL 14: Lives with us, goes to high school
YL 12: Lives with us, goes to middle school
YL 10: Lives with us, goes to elementary school
YM (Young Man) 10: Lives in South GA with his mom and goes to elementary school

We live in the Atlanta, GA area. We are "Wealthy" according to the government's determination. I make roughly $40,000 a year and Wes makes triple that on an average year. HOLY COW, that's $160,000 gross salary. How in the heck are we in so much debt?

I've read many of the other personal finance blogs and I'm absolutely in awe. How people manage to make it on what they do, is astounding to me.... and then, I look at our numbers again ... and our children... and I remember. Our financial reality is far far different than some people.

Our financial reality includes $27,624 per year in child support and a 28% tax burden (yep, that's $44,800). This brings our real income down to about $87,576. Still not too bad, right?
So, how the heck does a family that clears $87,000 a year end up where we are now? Well... it takes effort!!

Annual expenditures
$13,044 - Mortgage
$9,400 - All utilities & telephone expenses
$9,100 - Groceries and household
$9,000 - Back Taxes
$6,500 - Health Insurance
$6,000 - My 401K (Maxed at 15% of my income)
$5,000 - Travel expenses to visit YM 10 (he lives 4 hours away and we see him every other weekend)
$5,000 - Gas (auto)
$3,900 - Wes' discretionary budget
$2,600 - My discretionary budget
$2,050 - Auto Insurance
$2,500 - Auto Repair and Home Repair
$2,000 - Clothing
$1,500- Dry Cleaning (work clothing and ROTC uniform)
$1,416 - Student Loan
$1,000 - Medical copays and prescriptions
$876 - Gym Membership

This leaves roughly $6,690 per year to pay extra toward the $70,000 in tax debt that continues to accrue interest daily. None of these numbers reflect entertainment, Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, last minute emergency trips, major home repairs, or any other number of things that come up in a year's time.

Yes, we could cut out the Gym membership, but this is something that Wes uses, on average, 4 times a week and I use twice a week. We're both overweight and working to improve our health. This is an expense we are not willing to cut.

I sat down with Wes last week to see where we can cut corners and limit our spending. He just smiles and hugs me and goes along with the discussion for my sake, but the truth is, cutting spending is not the real problem. Our only expenses that aren't really required have been cut down to almost nothing. I've been tracking and tweaking and adjusting for over a year now. When I get frustrated because I can't understand how we make SO much money, and still have so little at the end of the day, I go back and look at these numbers again. For a little while, it definitely does help me to understand that we're working at it, even if we're not gaining a lot of ground.

*Experiment #1 - Yesterday's spending
$25.01 on gas

School Lunches

In an effort to save money, and eat healthier, I've completely stopped eating lunches out. I bring leftovers a lot, and today I brought a salad. I keep dry roasted nuts, meal replacement bars, and string cheese at the office. I keep a water bottle handy and refill it several times a day. The company provides coffee for the employees. For me, making the change to healthier and more budget conscious lunches has been fairly simple.

It's not so simple with the children. We weighed the pros and cons of eating a school lunch versus one from home. We've done the cost comparisons, and even trial basis on each. This is what our little family has found:

Lunch from Home (Pros):
1) We know what's going into the lunches
2) We can make sure the children get a balanced meal
3) Buying in bulk makes the food cheaper to buy than buying school lunches
4) The children love having different or special items in their lunches.

Lunch from Home (Cons):
1) It takes more time than you think to organize and pack 3 school lunches (The children made their own)
2) Buying the containers for the soups, puddings, sandwiches, etc can become expensive to replace due to loss, wear and tear.
3) When you run out of time and your schedule gets hectic, you end up paying for lunches twice. Once when you buy the food, and again when the children forget to pack the lunch or run out of time and they have to buy the school lunch anyway.

Lunch from School (Pros):
1) Convenience
2) It's hot and the serving sizes are appropriate
3) Schools have made great strides in making the meals healthier for the children
4) No extra dishes, baggies, or lunch sacks to keep track of

Lunch from School (Cons):
1) It can be more expensive than making lunches at home
2) You don't always know how nutritious the lunches are
3) Chocolate milk... every day!
4) Not enough time to eat slowly after waiting in line

So, we weighed the facts as we know them and decided to feed them breakfast at home and let them eat lunch at school. It costs about $30 a week, but in the long run, it's worth not having to deal with all of the hassles. If they want to make a lunch, we give them the opportunity. They do have to use the ingredients we have on hand, and they have to make it themselves.

Big Scary World

The setup: Every night, our family sits together at the dinner table. There are very few exceptions to this rule. There are two chairs of major import at our dinner table: The Special Chair, and The Topic Chair. The children rotate their seats every night so that each of them get an opportunity to sit there. The child who sits in The Topic Chair is allowed to... you guessed it... choose the topic. The child who sits in The Special Chair gets to talk first. Over the last several years, we have had some incredible conversations and have also been enormously surprised by the things we've learned about our children during our family dinners.

Last night, the topic was "If you could create any law, what would it be?" Given the current political goings-on, we were happy to get up to our elbows in this topic. The laws we chose went like this:
10 year old: Everyone 10 and older could drive
12 year old: All households should have a cap on the amount of water they are allowed to use.
14 year old: Gays and Transgendered people would all have equal protections under every law. (WOW)
Wes: A flat consumption tax
Me: Every able bodied OR able minded person (as many physically handicapped people can still provide infinite value to someone's existance) would be required to volunteer a minimum of 2 hours per week of their time.

The conversation then rambled and we discussed the CCC (Citizens Conservation Corps) that was developed during the Great Depression. Wes and I had a lively debate about whether working in return for public assistance should be compensated at a living wage, or too low for a family to scrape by on. Now, being that I was a single mother with physical disabilities working a 3rd shift waitressing job for quite a while, I can intelligently speak on the subject of public assistance. The pros, the cons, and the realities of the situations facing people who need to ask for that assistance.

Where am I going with this? Well... my youngest daughter started to cry. We've sufficiently scared the 10 and 12 year old children so much, by discussing the Worst Case Scenario of people who live in poverty in this country, that they are terrified at the thought of growing up and leaving home.

We have a strict honesty policy with our children. Wes and I feel that, if they're old enough to ask questions and open a dialogue with us, we owe them straightforward (age appropriate)answers. We have been trying to teach them about budgeting. They all have their own savings accounts and get their monthly statements in the mail. I am working to teach them about budgeting, comparison shopping, saving for things that matter, and conservation. I don't think that they will grow up to make the same mistakes I have made with money. I plan to give them a head start and a good working knowledge of money dos and don'ts.

Now to convince my youngest child that it's ok to let go of my leg and play outside again.
Momma